(Source: womenaregifts, via h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s)
Why couldn’t Thor’s hammer break Captain America’s shield?
BECAUSE IT WAS MADE OUT OF FREEDOM AND THE DREAMS OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE
uh excuse me wasn’t it adamantium
no it’s vibranium
you mean FREEDOMIUM
Aren’t wolverine’s bones made of adamantium?
No, Wolverine’s bones are made of crystalized maple syrup and universal health care.
(via laughcentre)
OH MY GOD IN THE LAST GIF THO THE DOG CATCHES THE KITTY WHEN SHE BEGINS TO FALL AND HELPS SET HER DOWN SAFELY
(Source: 4gifs, via toldyouiwassick)
Game of Thrones Spin-Off Ideas.
Click for enlarged images.
HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. I WANT THIS.
(via thesmithandhislady)
- Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
- Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
- Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
- Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
- Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
- Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
- Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
- Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
- Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
- Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
- Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
- Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
- Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
- Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
- Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
- Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
I’ve decided that the movie Mulan is basically Arya Stark
(via gendrybaratheonn)
THE BEST TRAIN CONVERSATION I HAVE EVER OVERHEARD
- Man 1: But I'm not Gay!
- Man 2: Yeah, but if you WERE. Thor or Loki?
- Man 1: but I'm not!
- Man 2: IRRELEVANT! THOR OR LOKI!
- Man 1: honestly?
- Man 2: THOR OR LOKI!
- Man 1: probably Iron Man.
- Man 2: SERIOUSLY? TONY STARK?
- Man 1: yeah. I'd love to be Robet Downey Jr's bitch. God, that man....
- Man 2: ooh I know what you mean. how would he proceed?
- Man 1: well we'd be having dinner and he'd have his hand on my leg and he'd whisper in my ear and tell me exactly what he was going to do to me.
- Man 2: oh yeah..
- Man 1: and then his hand'd go further to the top of my leg and start grasping my-
- Random Woman: EXCUSE ME THERE ARE CHILDREN ON THIS TRAIN.
- *awkward silence*
- Man 2: ...and you said you werent gay!
(Source: catuscalibrator, via awesomephilia)
Tea And Crumpets, Bitch.: All women are beautiful. Really?
I decided the word “beautiful” was trite and meaningless when during my junior year of high school, I saw a sticky note on the women’s bathroom door that said “Smile. You are beautiful.” And instead of feeling inspired or comforted, I just scoffed. …
ASOIAF Challenge
↳ 02. Most Powerful Lines (1/5) || Sansa Stark
“The gods heard my prayer, she thought. She felt so numb and dreamy. My skin has turned to porcelain, to ivory, to steel.”
